Quick answer: 朋友
朋友 (péngyou) means friend. It covers friends of any gender and any closeness, and 我们是朋友 (“we are friends”) is the ordinary statement. 好 before it makes 好朋友 (hǎo péngyou), a good friend, and 最好的朋友 (zuì hǎo de péngyou) is a best friend.
The character 朋 (péng) originally pictured two strings of shells side by side and carries the sense of a companion; 友 (yǒu) means friend. Together they make the everyday word. 友谊 (yǒuyì) is friendship in the abstract and belongs to formal or written Chinese.
| Chinese | Pinyin | Meaning | Caution |
|---|---|---|---|
| 朋友 | péngyou | Friend | Neutral, any gender |
| 好朋友 | hǎo péngyou | Good friend | Closer than 朋友, not romantic by itself |
| 男朋友 | nán péngyou | Boyfriend | Romantic partner, not a male friend |
| 女朋友 | nǚ péngyou | Girlfriend | Romantic partner, not a female friend |
| 男性朋友 | nánxìng péngyou | Male friend | Explicitly non-romantic |
| 女性朋友 | nǚxìng péngyou | Female friend | Explicitly non-romantic |
| 闺蜜 | guīmì | Closest female friend | Typically used by women |
The 男朋友 trap
This is the single most consequential mistake English speakers make with this word. In English, “my male friend” and “my boyfriend” are different, and the modifier 男 does the same job as “male”. In Chinese it does not work that way. 男朋友 has settled into a fixed meaning: romantic partner.
If you introduce a colleague as 我男朋友, you have just announced a relationship. The correct phrasing for a non-romantic male friend is 我男性朋友 (“my male friend”) or, in casual speech, 我哥们儿 (gēmenr, buddy) or 我兄弟 (xiōngdì, brother). The same applies in reverse: 女朋友 means girlfriend, and 我女性朋友 is the neutral version.
Note also that 男朋友 and 女朋友 are used across ages. A married woman may still refer to her husband informally, and the terms are not limited to teenagers.
Closeness, gender and slang
Beyond the neutral forms, Chinese has a rich set of words that encode how close a friendship is. 哥们儿 (gēmenr) is a male buddy and carries a strong connotation of loyalty and informality. 闺蜜 (guīmì) is a woman’s closest female friend, roughly “bestie”, and implies confidences. 发小 (fāxiǎo) means a friend from childhood, and 老朋友 (lǎo péngyou) means an old friend in the sense of long-standing, not elderly.
These words are specific enough that Chinese speakers use them precisely. Calling someone 闺蜜 signals a level of intimacy that 好朋友 does not.
Making friends and using the word in sentences
交朋友 (jiāo péngyou) means to make friends. 我们做朋友吧 (“let us be friends”) is the standard line. 朋友多了路好走 (“with more friends the road is easier”) is a common proverb about the value of a wide circle, and 患难见真情 (“true feeling shows in hard times”) is the corresponding one about loyalty under pressure.
One usage note: 朋友 can be used as a form of address to a stranger. Street vendors and touts may open with 朋友 to sound friendly, and it can feel forward rather than warm. Between actual friends it is completely ordinary.
What it does not mean
朋友 does not mean acquaintance in the casual English sense. Chinese has 熟人 (shúrén) for someone you know but are not close to, and using 朋友 for a passing acquaintance overstates the relationship. 朋友 is also not a polite word for a romantic partner — that role belongs to 男朋友, 女朋友, 对象 (duìxiàng) or 伴侣 (bànlǚ).
Common mistakes
- Using 男朋友 or 女朋友 for a platonic friend of a given gender. This announces a romance.
- Assuming 好朋友 is romantic. It is not; it simply means a close friend.
- Using 朋友 for a casual acquaintance, where 熟人 is more accurate.
- Confusing 友谊 (abstract friendship) with 朋友 (a person).
- Assuming 老朋友 means an elderly friend; it means a friend of long standing.